The Twa Tovin Brithers

Ernest McA Scott

It was aboot the early nineteen hunners that young Jamie McKenzie left hame near Ranalstoon and went tae Canada. He coudny fin’ wark in Toronto, so he bummed his road west whur he warked tae a wheat grouer in Manitoba.

Wae the wheen o’ pun his fether had geen him for his share, because his brither who wus the owlest would get the Ranalstoon ferm whun his fether deet, an’ wae these twathree pun and forby what he wus earnin an’ the strenth o’ the Canadian dollar at that time he wus able tae buy a big Oliver 80 tractor an’ plough on the never-never which the Yanks had invented. He wrought hard an’ sore a’ spring tae the grouers and wus able tae buy a’ the implements tae tak’ him thru’ the sasons. He wrought hard an’ sore for ower thirty years haying got merrit in the meantime an’ had a’ the combines tae dae a’ his contract work tae the big grouers.

It wus jest efter the second wurld war, whun twa o’ Jamie’s sons cum oot o’ the Canadian Army an’ tuk oor fae Jamie that him an’ his wife decided tae cum bak tae Ranalstoon on a holiday, his fether hayin deet during the war, tae see his brither an his femily. They arrived at Ranalstoon in the month o’ August, near Black day, and Jamie's brither wus cuttin’ corn in a seven acre feel wae an Albion binder an’ three horses. Whun Jamie arrived in the feel his brither was up at the tap en and cum doon the sward wae the binder an’ the three horses wus getting it tight an’ wur steamin’. Wully, the brither, got aff the binder an’ greeted Jamie an’ lot the horses rest.

“That’s a gae lang sward fur three horses piling ower a tun weght o’ binder”, ses he tae Jamie. Jamie tuk yin luk at him an’ ses tae him, “Wully, ye think thons a lang sward. Weel, A’ll tell ye whun a went tae Manitoba first they wus working wae horses, an’ whun a wus stooking wheat the binder only cum roon at half three on a Thursday. Noo that’s a lang sward.”

Wully pondered this information fur a while then sez he, “Maybe that. But A’m gang tae tell ye A cut hey this year for near ten days rinnin’ on an owl Bamford reaper an’ at the en’ A wus steppin oot o’ ma breeks in the bedroom wae ma bak tae the wife whun she sed, “Wully, there’s something wrang wae yer backside”, an’ whun A turnt roon tae luk in the big mirror on the wardrobe A cud see, etched on ma erse, the words ‘Bamfords of Uttoxeter’. Noo wus that no a lang sit?”

Jamie let oot a snort, turnt, an’ started tae gae Wully’s sins a han’ tae stook.